Thursday, July 18, 2013

Forms of Brave


ON FOLLY BEACH        By: Karen White          4 Stars

Karen White is a personal favorite of mine. She authors the entertaining Tradd Street series, as well as other books, which I have yet to read. From the books I have been able to read by White, she seems to focus a lot on the relationships between groups of people. Many of these relationships deal with multiple generations, as is the case in On Folly Beach.

There are two storylines, one starting in 1942 and another starting in 2009. Both of these stories have similar plots and characters, yet you are never bored by the similarities. We originally start with Emmy in 2009, whose husband just died in Afghanistan. She is devastated and is finally convinced by her mom, as well as a mysterious note in a book margin, to head to Folly Beach, South Carolina to start over. She purchases Folly Finds, a book store her mother frequented as a child, and who was the original owner the book with the message.

In 1942 we are introduced to Maggie, the original owner of Folly Finds. Maggie has a much younger sister, Lulu, and a cousin, Catherine. Cat is also a recent widow due to Pearl Harbor. Cat is a little bit of a wild child and as both her parents are gone, Maggie promised her own dead parents that she would take care of Cat and Lulu. The problem is both Maggie and Lulu loved Cat’s husband and it is because of Cat’s sabotage that Maggie didn’t end up as Jim’s widow instead.

As the plots thicken you will find more sabotage, betrayal, love, secrets, and of course, bravery. Emmy is told multiple times that she is brave. Her bravery comes in the form of staying home while her brave husband fights for our nation.  Other brave acts are presented in this historical novel that might throw a few surprises your way. Whether you are surprised or not, you will still enjoy the storylines and how they all come together at the end.

 

OVERCOME: Burned, Blind, Blessed          By: Carmen Blandin Tarleton         4 Stars

Overcome was recommended to me by a random patron one day while working.  I checked it out soon after, but didn’t have a chance to read it for quite a while. In fact, while reading MSN (or some other news site) one day, I ran across a slideshow of face transplants. Imagine my surprise when I saw a story that sounded familiar. I had to check the author name to make sure it really was the same person. I did see Carmen’s new face and she looks beautiful.

To be honest, I had to skim some of the book because of time issues. However, the portions I did get to were worth the read. Carmen deals with a lot of heartbreak from her relationship with Herb. Eventually the relationship is terminated and Herb ends up dousing Carmen with industrial strength lye. She was burned around 80% of her body and left blind. I found it difficult to read her descriptions of gaining some vision, losing it and so much more.

Some of Herb’s issues are presented in the book, but I imagine most of it goes beyond what Carmen even knew or laid out for the reader. At one point in the book Herb said he was looking for a reason not to harm Carmen, but never received it. Carmen was attacked early in the morning, just a few hours after Herb’s birthday. Carmen did feel an impression to call him, but never did. However, nobody knows if a simple birthday wish would have prolonged the horrible situation, or prevented it altogether.

Who knew if that simple call would have even been the sign Herb was waiting for, or if he would have comprehend the call as a sign either. What could have been didn’t change reality. The reality: Herb’s 15 minute attack on Carmen changed countless lives forever.

Carmen experienced things that no one ever should have to, but as we all learn from our trials, Carmen learned a level of healing that would be hard to achieve without going through the process. Carmen commented on how she was called brave. She was brave. She sat in court with Herb so he could see what he had done. More importantly, she rose above her situation and learned to become a motivational speaker, even speaking about forgiveness.

When Carmen first testified in court, images of her were presented on the news. Before her story was given, a warning was provided that graphic images would be displayed. The realization that Carmen was the graphic image was detrimental to her healing process. With time Carmen was able to overcome her “Disfigurement Challenge” and accept herself for what she was. Once Carmen’s outlook of herself changed, miraculously others changed as well. Instead of scaring children in public, they were coming over to her for a hug. As pivotal as this was, it was not as important as her ability to forgive.

Carmen was not only able to forgive Herb for his well-being, but for herself as well. When Carmen was first attacked, she had a vision of sorts. She distinctly saw the words like a movie screen: “CHOICE. Life. Is. A. Choice.” Carmen chose to press on with life and forgiveness. She did not want to have anger and hurt. She didn’t want those 15 minutes to define her. She made the choice to forgive. With that forgiveness she has set out to tell her story so others can realize the same healing in their lives. She is counteracting Herb’s negativity by replacing it with positivity.

At one point Carmen spoke at the Vermont State Prison during their National Crime Victims’ Rights Week. This was a prison where Herb had been incarcerated at some point (yet he had been transferred previous to the event). During the Q & A portion of the event, a prisoner asked Carmen if she had forgiven her attacker. Carmen replied by stating that she was not the only victim. Herb too was a victim.

Carmen remarked that victims are merely just victims of victims. Another inmate said he never forgave his perpetrator and he treated his victim the same way he had been treated. He didn’t forgive, he just repeated the cycle. However, Carmen made it clear that even without the victim’s forgiveness (which you have no control over) you need to focus on your own forgiveness.

Carmen wanted others to realize that selfishness shouldn’t be this horrible word in society. In reality, if we are all taking care of ourselves, we are better able to take care of others. In order to stop the vicious cycle we need to learn to love and forgive ourselves, that way we can love others instead of hurting them. By taking care of ourselves we are able to become better parents, spouses, friends, siblings, and more.

The idea of forgiveness happened in a most profound way when Carmen mentioned her mother’s healing. Her mother was consumed with revenge for the first few weeks. Luckily, while talking to a neighbor at a grocery store they said everyone in town wanted Herb dead and wanted to cause him pain if they had the chance. Carmen’s mom realized how absurd this idea was. They wanted to react to violence by causing more violence. She had seen the pain Carmen and others were going through. It was senseless to think that the same acts of violence would solve the problem. She didn’t understand how anyone would want to be as inhumane as Herb had been at that moment. From that point on Carmen’s mom started her own healing and forgiveness, her own road back to sanity.

At the end of the book, Carmen was only beginning her journey to receive a face transplant. As mentioned above we now know that the transplant has been complete. Not only that, but Carmen is moving on and thriving in her new life. She is now in a new relationship, one with a man who loved her even before she had a face transplant. She has been burned and blinded, yet she has overcome and is now reaping the blessings associated with her bravery and forgiveness.


Here are some stories I found about Carmen:



http://www.brighamandwomens.org/about_bwh/publicaffairs/news/facetransplant/default.aspx This is the hospital who have completed face transplants, in addition to Carmen.

As sad as this is to say after understanding how it hurt Carmen to hear…Graphic Images are found on this slideshow. It is before and after pictures of those who have been blessed enough to receive face transplants… http://www.reuters.com/news/pictures/slideshow?articleId=USRTR2DG2I#a=1

There are many more that can be found with a little research.

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