Keep Your Eyes Wide Open Before Marriage and Half Shut Afterwards

HOW TO AVOID FALLING IN LOVE WITH A JERK: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind                                         By: John Van EPP, Ph.D.                                                4 Stars

I have to be honest; I scanned most of this book. Not necessarily because it was boring or for any other reason, but because I have too many books and too little time. Luckily, the author uses helpful tip boxes throughout the chapter and makes a list of the most important information to remember at the end of each chapter.

The book centers around the author’s own Relationship Attachment Model which highlights the following points: Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, and Touch. Basically, you don’t trust someone more than you know them, rely on someone more than you trust them, commit to someone more than you rely on them and don’t have sexual relations with someone before all of the other points are already safely established. Overall, you should be about equal on all points. Quite a few of the Goodreads reviews I looked at thought the sexual relations portion was preachy, but I think it just makes good sense.

Relationship advice is given to include things like watching how your person of interest treats family, friends, strangers, you, their dog…and combining that information to establish a pattern of how you will be treated. Other good points mention include what you should look for when considering relationships such as views on money, religion, family planning, and more.

It is a good read with my favorite quote being repeated a few times: “the good doesn’t always last, and the bad usually gets worse.” I hope I can apply the tips to my relationships and to myself so I am not the one who is considered the jerk.